CTB verification visit and "co-habiting" issues

  • Thread starter Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat
  • Start date

R

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

Background is -

I'm currently on DLA (middle rate care, low rate mobility), SDA, IS, and
CTB. Have been on DLA and SDA for seven years, I am registered blind,
haven't worked for seven years. Husband left me last year, I claimed IS, and
CTB. I recieve no money from husband at all, DSS pay part of the mortgage
and I scrape the rest.

Yesterday I get a letter from the LA saying they are going to do do a
verification visit with regards to CTB at my home on monday morning. I am to
have all my docs for their persusal. Ok, thinks I, abit short notice but
there you go.

In all my time as a benefit claimant I've not had one visit from anyone, so
this is all new to me. I am to understand from advice from those who've been
through it that this is normal and I've nowt to worry about cos I'm not
defrauding anyone or anything. They've asked for at least two months bank
statements (amongst other things) which I can give them - but only two
months as usually I do all my banking online and as bits of paper are often
useless to us visually impaired bods, I don't tend to keep my bank
statements. It just so happens I do have the last two though.
But there is one fly in the ointment that makes me somewhat paranoid.

My bf has a estranged wife who is currently known to the police for
harrassing me and threatening violence (though so far she hasn't quite dared
say that to my face, just thorugh other people). She has also tried to cause
trouble for me by phoning my husband up at work and trying to tell him that
my bf and I were having a thing before he left (which would have been
interesting as I didn't in fact meet my bf until two months after hubby
left). She is causing my bf all sorts of problems in relation to access to
his kids and so on, which is rich really considering she chucked him out to
move his best mate in three days later. This was before I met him.

Anyway - her latest tricks is that she has started giving out my address as
being my bf's, which it is not - as he rents a room and she knows this and
knows the address, which he has given her many times - it's three doors up
from where the granny of her kids from her first marriage live. She has
given my address to her solicitor as being his address and they sent her
divorce petition to my address (my bf gave me permission to open stuff so we
could sort it out and he could get in touch with those who were trying to
reach him and tell them his correct address - so I phoned her solicitor when
the petition turned up and gave them his proper address, and told them what
was going on, told them I was returning the petition as "not at this
address" and they apologised for troubling me), she's given it to debt
collectors as being his address, forwarded junk mail to my address with "now
living at"- that sort of thing. Part of her "course of conduct" as the
police call it. We have both told her many times to stop doing this (and
everything else shes done) but she has really got it into her head to try to
intimidate and harrass me. My bf can't set up a mail redirect because he has
been gone from her house for more than six months (and you need current id-
current meaning "correspondance dated within six months" relating to the
former address to set up a redirect, which of course he doesn't have as he's
been gone over a year).

I am seeing a solicitor on tuesday with regards to getting the ball rolling
to try to do something about the whole thing in the civil court, as the
police went round to see her when she threatned to "sort me out" and "make
my life a living hell", told her she was a naughty girl and not to do it
again and then have registered zero interest in the matter - I guess she
will actually have to make good on her threats to sort me out to get them to
take any notice anymore. I am hoping that a letter from my solicitor will do
the trick though - I don't want to try for an injunction because the more
you react to try to stop her, the more she kicks off with summat else and no
doubt once any letters from my sol get toher she will find something else
nasty to do, probably to my bf. The usual thing is to withold contact with
his kids on an on and off basis (read: withold it when she doens't get her
own way or gets out of bed the wrong side) which his sol now wants to
prevent by starting procedures in the courts.

So, as you can imagine, it has occured to me that she may try to throw a
spanner in my works by trying to tell the BA that he is living with me -
it's her MO from what I've experience before. The only money he gives me is
21 pounds a month to look after his dog, who he cannot have with him in
rented digs (doggy was living with ex until earlier this year when she phoen
up out of the blue to tell my bf she was giving the dog away - after
previously promising to keep her until he could find digs that would allow
him to have her, so I said for him to bring doggy here until he could sort
something out- I have two dogs of my own so it's not a problem) - he
supports me financially in no way whatsoever, I pay all my bills by dd from
my bank account, and although he stays over alot, none of his stuff is here,
except a few clothes and a toothbrush. He does use my second pooter as his
though, which sits next to my main pc as part of a network.
I don't think his landlord bothered to put him on the electoral roll but I
do recall him saying (the landlord this is) that when he phoned up to add my
bf as a tenant to his council tax (the landlord had been a single resident
beforehand) they didn't seem to want to know my bf's name or anything - they
just upped the bill. So he does live there but I don't believe his name is
registered as there with the council, fwiw. His solicitor knows he lives
there (as he is on a low income and is eligable for legal funding concerning
his divorce and access rights to the kids) so of course, the sol has a
letter on file from his landlord saying he lives there and what rent he
pays.

So - how much trouble can she try to cause me if she takes it into her head
to try and "grass me up" ? Is there a slight possibility that the council
visit is her work ? I have nothing to hide but I am worried that the BA
might shoot first, ask questions afterwards. Surely the fact that it's all
above board *and* she is known to the police as harrassing me would stand me
in good stead ?


TIA


Rachael
 
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J

Jeep Beep

Rachael of Nex said:
Background is -

I'm currently on DLA (middle rate care, low rate mobility), SDA, IS, and
CTB. Have been on DLA and SDA for seven years, I am registered blind,
haven't worked for seven years. Husband left me last year, I claimed IS, and
CTB. I recieve no money from husband at all, DSS pay part of the mortgage
and I scrape the rest.

Yesterday I get a letter from the LA saying they are going to do do a
verification visit with regards to CTB at my home on monday morning. I am to
have all my docs for their persusal. Ok, thinks I, abit short notice but
there you go.

In all my time as a benefit claimant I've not had one visit from anyone, so
this is all new to me. I am to understand from advice from those who've been
through it that this is normal and I've nowt to worry about cos I'm not
defrauding anyone or anything. They've asked for at least two months bank
statements (amongst other things) which I can give them - but only two
months as usually I do all my banking online and as bits of paper are often
useless to us visually impaired bods, I don't tend to keep my bank
statements. It just so happens I do have the last two though.
Don't worry about any of this, it can be sorted easily. They probably won't
even look at them.

But there is one fly in the ointment that makes me somewhat paranoid.
My bf has a estranged wife who is currently known to the police for
harrassing me and threatening violence <snip etc)
Anyway - her latest tricks is that she has started giving out my address as
being my bf's
This is your problem and the reason for the visit.
They will be looking for signs of co-habitation, i.e. slippers by the fire,
clothes in the wardrobe, beer in the fridge (you get the idea?)

You have no problem as he doesn't live with you, so don't worry. Just
remember that the inspectors are doing a job and have to check. Give them a
few biscuits and have a laugh about the mad ex.
I am seeing a solicitor on tuesday with regards to getting the ball rolling
to try to do something about the whole thing in the civil court.
Don't waste your money, she'll get fed up quicker if you ignor her.
So, as you can imagine, it has occured to me that she may try to throw a
spanner in my works by trying to tell the BA that he is living with me -
it's her MO from what I've experience before. The only money he gives me is
21 pounds a month to look after his dog, who he cannot have with him in
rented digs
Mmmm. They will obviously see this as odd, but it doesn't mean that he's
living with you. I'd suggest that you are honest (oh and only mention it if
they ask!)

Good Luck
Jan
 
T

Ted Hutchinson

The only money he gives me is
21 pounds a month to look after his dog,
While I don't think this will be a problem if he bought the food for
the dog, it definitely would not be a problem, as payment in kind is
disregarded as income for means tested benefit purposes.
 
R

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

Ted Hutchinson said:
While I don't think this will be a problem if he bought the food for
the dog, it definitely would not be a problem, as payment in kind is
disregarded as income for means tested benefit purposes.
What happens is - he gives me half the price of a big bag of dog food (my
elder gsd eats the other half) which is about 16 quid (big bag being about
32 notes give or take) and a fiver for the treats I buy her (when I buy them
for the other two, the elder gsd and my gsd pup). It's easier if I get the
food for both of the big dogs because they'll both eat the same. If he
started buying her different food my gsd would get the hump pretty quickly.
;-)


Rachael
 
R

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

Jeep Beep said:
am

Don't worry about any of this, it can be sorted easily. They probably won't
even look at them.
Ok, ta.
This is your problem and the reason for the visit.
They will be looking for signs of co-habitation, i.e. slippers by the fire,
clothes in the wardrobe, beer in the fridge (you get the idea?)

Yus, I get it. Can they ask to look around, like in cupboards and so on ? I
thought I read somewhere that they can't ask, but I can offer ? What's the
gen on that issue ?
You have no problem as he doesn't live with you, so don't worry. Just
remember that the inspectors are doing a job and have to check. Give them a
few biscuits and have a laugh about the mad ex.
Are they likely to mention someone has put them up to it or what ?
Don't waste your money, she'll get fed up quicker if you ignor her.
Well, sadly not. Extensive experience from others who've met her and been
caused trouble by her say the only way to stop her is to either move away
(can't do), give up my bf (never in a million years) or seek legal help.
She's one of these people who's got to have a feud with someone - she's
often phoning the social services up about her so-called friends kids to get
them in trouble, she grassed up a big dope dealer a few years back just for
fun (long story), she has accused both her husbands of untrue sexual and
physical abuse to the point that one of them went to a sol to start legal
action for slander (then she shut up). She's not your normal troublemaker -
but a very disturbed woman bent on bringing everyone down she takes a
dislike to, for whatever reason.
This has been going on for months now and I'm utterly tired of it so - the
solicitors it is for me. Besides - I can get legal funding for it and I am
hoping a strongly worded letter telling her if she doesn't stop I'll persue
legal action will shut her up. It usually has in the past, so I'm told.
Already I have enough evidence (texts messages to mobiles, calls to my
husband, witnesses to those calls, witnesses to threats, and so on) to
persue a civil case under the Proection from Harrassment Act 1997 (and as
she threatned violence I could badger the police to press charges too - if I
could get them interested -, as such harrassment is a criminal offense as
well as a civil one) if I wished. I'd rather not though.
Mmmm. They will obviously see this as odd, but it doesn't mean that he's
living with you. I'd suggest that you are honest (oh and only mention it if
they ask!)
Indeed ! It might seem odd but he really can't have her in rented digs
(besides, his current place's landlord has two cats !) and I'd hate to see
her go to an animal shelter or something. I've got two of my own which I can
afford comfortably but another mouth to feed would be abit much - dog food
doesn't come cheap when you have to buy it in bulk. Hence the money he gives
me. Besides, she's still his dog not mine - I'm merely boarding her, so to
speak.
Good Luck
Thankyou.



Rachael
 
T

Ted Hutchinson

he gives me half the price of a big bag of dog food (my
elder < Snip more details >
Men are quite capable of doing the shopping and getting whats on your
shopping list.
Just tell him the stuff to get and where to get it. If your looking
after the dog the least he can do is carry home the biscuits.
 
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Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

Ted Hutchinson said:
Men are quite capable of doing the shopping and getting whats on your
shopping list.
Just tell him the stuff to get and where to get it. If your looking
after the dog the least he can do is carry home the biscuits.
Er, yeah but that's not what I meant. I meant I just go buy the dog food for
both my elder dog and his dog - as in, I decide what they eat and where to
get it from, as his dog will eat anything but my gsd is abit more fussy, his
taste varies from month to month - but bf does indeed carry home the
biscuits cos being legally blind, I don't drive !

I like to pick the food out because my elder boy is a fuss pot - I feel
happier if I pick it out myself and vary it from month to month else he gets
bored and won't eat it. You'd never think it though if you saw him - he's
huge. The price of the food is pretty much the same though give or take a
couple of quid. It's like, I wouldn't dream of sending my dog to the vet
with someone else (even my ex husband who I was with for ten years !) unless
I *absolutely* had to. Call me odd but I'm very close to my dogs and I like
to take care of their needs myself. Bf is happy to let me see to his
doggie's dietry requirements.

<muses> I hope the VO likes dogs - the elder boy can be very intimidating
when he's throwing himself at the kitchen door, he hates being shut away
from me but the last thing a VO wants is three dogs jumping on them, I'm
sure.


Rachael
 
M

Mike

Rachael of Nex said:
Ok, ta.



Yus, I get it. Can they ask to look around, like in cupboards and so on ? I
thought I read somewhere that they can't ask, but I can offer ? What's the
gen on that issue ?
They will ask if he buys food and if two people share accom.(not your
situation) they ask about storage, who buys what & when.

You can by all means give the investigator a quick tour and this would
settle the issue, if as you say he doesn't live there. If on the other hand
they find clothes and other personal items which may indicate he does live
there the investigator will start to check out as many aspects of yours and
his living arrangements. This will include verifying his current address
with his landlord, which may or may not be a problem.
If you could start the ball rolling on the harrassment issue and provide
documents (police statements sol.letter) it should clarify the situation.
Once it's all sorted out it may be worth asking them to note your file re
the false allegations in case they're made again. As this visit seems to be
from the council you should write to the DWP, give them the investigators
name and ask them to note your DWP records as well.
Neither HB/CTB or the DWP should suspend your benefit without investigating,
if you fail to co-operate then they may suspend your benefits with far less
evidence than they would need to withdraw your benefits permanently.

Mike

them

Are they likely to mention someone has put them up to it or what ?


Well, sadly not. Extensive experience from others who've met her and been
caused trouble by her say the only way to stop her is to either move away
(can't do), give up my bf (never in a million years) or seek legal help.
She's one of these people who's got to have a feud with someone - she's
often phoning the social services up about her so-called friends kids to get
them in trouble, she grassed up a big dope dealer a few years back just for
fun (long story), she has accused both her husbands of untrue sexual and
physical abuse to the point that one of them went to a sol to start legal
action for slander (then she shut up). She's not your normal troublemaker -
but a very disturbed woman bent on bringing everyone down she takes a
dislike to, for whatever reason.
This has been going on for months now and I'm utterly tired of it so - the
solicitors it is for me. Besides - I can get legal funding for it and I am
hoping a strongly worded letter telling her if she doesn't stop I'll persue
legal action will shut her up. It usually has in the past, so I'm told.
Already I have enough evidence (texts messages to mobiles, calls to my
husband, witnesses to those calls, witnesses to threats, and so on) to
persue a civil case under the Proection from Harrassment Act 1997 (and as
she threatned violence I could badger the police to press charges too - if I
could get them interested -, as such harrassment is a criminal offense as
well as a civil one) if I wished. I'd rather not though.
If your bf is trying to get custody of the kids then getting evidence of
this will help. If he's trying to get access you will just piss her off,
she'll make it more difficult for your bf to see them and with the courts
bias against fathers they'll never take any action to force her to allow the
access he's been granted. Your bf will end up dressed as spider man on a
crane in london before he gets to see them!

Mike
 
R

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

Mike said:
?
They will ask if he buys food and if two people share accom.(not your
situation) they ask about storage, who buys what & when.

You can by all means give the investigator a quick tour and this would
settle the issue, if as you say he doesn't live there. If on the other hand
they find clothes and other personal items which may indicate he does live
there the investigator will start to check out as many aspects of yours and
his living arrangements. This will include verifying his current address
with his landlord, which may or may not be a problem.
If you could start the ball rolling on the harrassment issue and provide
documents (police statements sol.letter) it should clarify the situation.
Once it's all sorted out it may be worth asking them to note your file re
the false allegations in case they're made again. As this visit seems to be
from the council you should write to the DWP, give them the investigators
name and ask them to note your DWP records as well.
Neither HB/CTB or the DWP should suspend your benefit without investigating,
if you fail to co-operate then they may suspend your benefits with far less
evidence than they would need to withdraw your benefits permanently.
Well, the chap turned up this morning (late, after the alloted timeframe)
and if he was looking for evidence of co-habitation, he must have x-ray
vision ! We sat at the living room table, talked about my three hounds
(corralled in the kitchen barking). Then he just asked to see my dla book
and passport, had a cursory look at my bank statements, I signed a form to
say "no change" and the rest of the time we talked about blindness and eye
problems (which his daughter suffers from also), my accent (Norfolk) and
thus the fact he married a Norfolk lass and how he loves the city of Norwich
where she hails from (as do I), and the fact that I grew up where his wife
now lives (the split up) and she and I even went to the same school although
some years apart. And he also gave me very helpful advice and the
possibilties of getting a mortgage on disibilty benefits and told me not to
give up hope of getting back home (I live in Kent and my family home is
Norwich) as there were ways and means - and told me organisations to contact
who could help me. All in all a very nice and helpful chap.

All that worry for nowt. I was actually quite sorry to see him leave after
we had reminisced so fondly. I now think it was just a routine 60 week
visit. I think I could tell if he was secretly scoping me out for more than
he appeared to be asking, and that didn't feel like the case.

If your bf is trying to get custody of the kids then getting evidence of
this will help. If he's trying to get access you will just piss her off,
she'll make it more difficult for your bf to see them and with the courts
bias against fathers they'll never take any action to force her to allow the
access he's been granted. Your bf will end up dressed as spider man on a
crane in london before he gets to see them!
Well, his sol has started the all rolling for a court order, (he was the one
who recommended I go and see a colleague of his with regards to the
harrassment). His view is that once you have to explain to the court or a
court appointed social worker why your spouse can't see his kids, most
people start realising they can't just bugger about anymore, and accusations
have to actually be backed up rather than just saying any old lie and saying
"That's why he can't see them". Once you're in the court system, he says, it
sobers many people up because they are scrutinised pretty rigidly, which
makes them realise it isn't just a game anymore. And that is how she is -
it's just a game to her, where she wants to set and change the rules to her
liking. The sol and bf are in agreement that this is the way forward.

Thing is, I know she'll just make it harder for him to see the kids if I see
a sol and they decide to write her a letter, but I have to live my life too.
Her constant harrassment is doing my head in (truly). My bf supports my
wishes to see a solicitor about it even though he knows she will probably
kick off again - but thing is, she doesn't need anything so important to set
her off, she'll do it anyway. It's her MO.

I can't have her sending stuff for him to my address and giving it out as
being where he lives because it will look bad if she tries to cause trouble
with the dss - if she starts diverting correspondance to here, - that's one
of the things the ba consider after all when it comes to judging
co-habitation. It seems like she is trying to set that up in order to make
it look like he *does* live here, which she would undoubtedly use if she
tried to make the dss think he lived here too, you know ? And I can't have
that, because it isn't true, *and* because the stress of it is making me
ill. Threats I can live with - they're just words (even though the violent
ones have scared me into lapsing back into my agorophobia which I was doing
quite nicely with combatting beforehand - cos the last thing I want is to
leave the house and find some nutty woman waiting for me at the bottom of my
steps which would be scary for even a fully sighted person) - but actual
potentially trouble causing behaviour like this and phoning my ex is just
not on.



Rachael
 
D

Doug Scott

The,
the stress of it is making me ill.
Bugger it. Go for it. Life's too short to live with this sort of stuff.
And good luck. It's going to be tough, but life's not exactly a bed of
roses now, is it? What can she do to you that she's not already doing?

And actually doing something about it is always a tonic. From now on,
she'll know she's got a fight on her hands, not a victim.
 
R

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

Doug Scott said:
The,


Bugger it. Go for it. Life's too short to live with this sort of stuff.
And good luck. It's going to be tough, but life's not exactly a bed of
roses now, is it? What can she do to you that she's not already doing?

And actually doing something about it is always a tonic. From now on,
she'll know she's got a fight on her hands, not a victim.
I went to the sol this morning, and disucssed the whole thing from end to
end. My sol recommended she write a letter to bf's ex with an account of her
behaviour towards me and saying that she had informed me that ex's behaviour
amounted to harrassment. She would say that if the behaviour were to
continue, she would have no hesitation in obtaining a court order to protect
me. She also said she would ask the court to get ex to pay for my legal fees
! You're right about the tonic bit - when she sent me the draft of the
letter by email later I coulda cried I was so relieved - someone was batting
for my team, and was setting it out in no uncertain terms that her behaviour
would not be tolerated and would result in legal proceedings if it did not
stop.

We - the sol and bf and I - discussed whether waiting till the new year to
send this might not be more prudent, as we were hoping ex's dad might be
able to talk some sense into her about my bf getting to see his kids this
xmas. So I went away to think about it - whether to send it now or later.

When I got home I found a letter addressed to my bf, handwritten by his ex
and sent to him at my address, which accused *me* or harrassing *her* ! -
amongst other things. In which she reconfirmed that bf was not going to see
his kids again and that one day I would find him out for "the evil pervert
that (he) is". Whatever that means.

So we thought, "F#ck it" and so it's sent.

Tune in next time for the next installment. It would be comi-tragedy if it
wasn't so bloody real.


Rachael
 
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A

anthonyberet

Jeep said:
Don't worry about any of this, it can be sorted easily. They
probably won't even look at them.
Do worry about this, if the council id verfication-framework-compliant they
will need to check these and may make copies.
Its ok as long as you aren't concealing any income or capital though.
This is your problem and the reason for the visit.
Not necessarily.
If it is indeed a "verification visit" under the verification framework it
will be a routine visit, not prompted by anything in particular.
They will be looking for signs of co-habitation, i.e. slippers by the
fire, clothes in the wardrobe, beer in the fridge (you get the idea?)

You have no problem as he doesn't live with you, so don't worry. Just
remember that the inspectors are doing a job and have to check. Give
them a few biscuits and have a laugh about the mad ex.
This bit I agree with ;-)
Don't waste your money, she'll get fed up quicker if you ignor her.


Mmmm. They will obviously see this as odd, but it doesn't mean that
he's living with you. I'd suggest that you are honest (oh and only
mention it if they ask!)
The £21.00 should probably be treated as income.
 
A

anthonyberet

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat wrote:

I now think it was just a routine
60 week visit.
Ah, just as I thought...you are almost certainly right.
I can't have her sending stuff for him to my address and giving it
out as being where he lives because it will look bad if she tries to
cause trouble with the dss -
Maybe you should write (or get the solicitor to write) to the DWP and local
authority to explain how she is harrasing you, and that they should
disregard information about his cohabitation.
 
J

Jeep Beep

So we thought, "F#ck it" and so it's sent.

Tune in next time for the next installment. It would be comi-tragedy if it
wasn't so bloody real.


Rachael
Let us know what happens and please don't get upset when she responds with
her own professional letter (you know she will!).
Just remember that nice people go to sleep smiling and nasty folk go to
sleep frowning, so let her get wound up and try to be good to yourself.

Good luck and have a nice xmas

Jan
 
D

Doug Scott

The,
So we thought, "F#ck it" and so it's sent.
Good. And a merry Christmas to her, as well!

My experience is that this will either aggravate her or shut her up. If
it aggravates her, that's no surprise and she's been behaving
hysterically already, so no change there.

If she shuts up, well - there'll be an uneasy truce. But don't forget
that if she starts up gain, fight her. It helps to strengthen your own
feelings - you know she's wrong, and now the rest of the world is
having to make choices. When they do, they're going to have to back you
up, so you've got very little to lose, given what you've been losing up
until now.
 
R

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

anthonyberet said:
Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat wrote:



Ah, just as I thought...you are almost certainly right.


Maybe you should write (or get the solicitor to write) to the DWP and local
authority to explain how she is harrasing you, and that they should
disregard information about his cohabitation.
Do you think so ? I have mentioend it to my sol of course, and she is aware
of the issue. I ownder if to write first would be to invite closer scrutity
anyway ? It's all above board but I'm under enough stress as it is.

Letter to mad-ex got sent yesterday, so my sol tells me. So today when the
doorbell goes, I am actually jumping behind the bloody sofa. I have no
intention of answering the door but even so, I don't even want her to know I
am home. You'd have though that the dogs going nuts (one springer spaniel
and two gsd's, one very big and very scary and the other one well on the way
to being just as big and scary) would be enough to keep her away but we know
she's been here at least twice already, once in the middle of the night and
once last friday morning.

The police have advised me not to open the door if I suspect it is her for
two reasons - one, to avoid confrontation (I mean, they don't need to remind
me as I don't want to have to get into a physical situation on my doorstep,
ffs) and two, if she attacked me on my property and one of my dogs bit her
to protect me, she could theoretically prosecute me and have them put to
sleep. And quite frankly I'd prefer to dive headfirst into a pit of broken
glass and shitty scorpions than allow that to happen.



Rachael
 
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R

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

Jeep Beep said:
Let us know what happens and please don't get upset when she responds with
her own professional letter (you know she will!).
'Course she will. I am waiting to see what proof of my alleged harrassment
she is going to dream up - she'll have to fabricate it and therefore I
suspect soon after will be made to look extremely foolish.

My sol sent the letter yesterday so - abit on edge today, jumping behind the
sofa when the doorbell rings ! Which it has a few times - I'm hoping it was
carol singers !! We'll see what happens. I doubt she'll get to see a
solicitor before christmas so at least I can almost be assured of nothing in
that direction happening before then. Her turning up in a total rage however
can never be discounted.

Just remember that nice people go to sleep smiling and nasty folk go to
sleep frowning, so let her get wound up and try to be good to yourself.
I manage to go to bed grinning thanks to zolpidem, as it goes. ;-)
Good luck and have a nice xmas
You too.



Rachael
 
R

Robbie

From: "Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat" (e-mail address removed)
Date: 18/12/03 16:30 GMT Standard Time
Message-id: <[email protected]>




Do you think so ? I have mentioend it to my sol of course, and she is aware
of the issue. I ownder if to write first would be to invite closer scrutity
anyway ? It's all above board but I'm under enough stress as it is.

Letter to mad-ex got sent yesterday, so my sol tells me. So today when the
doorbell goes, I am actually jumping behind the bloody sofa. I have no
intention of answering the door but even so, I don't even want her to know I
am home. You'd have though that the dogs going nuts (one springer spaniel
and two gsd's, one very big and very scary and the other one well on the way
to being just as big and scary) would be enough to keep her away but we know
she's been here at least twice already, once in the middle of the night and
once last friday morning.

The police have advised me not to open the door if I suspect it is her for
two reasons - one, to avoid confrontation (I mean, they don't need to remind
me as I don't want to have to get into a physical situation on my doorstep,
ffs) and two, if she attacked me on my property and one of my dogs bit her
to protect me, she could theoretically prosecute me and have them put to
sleep. And quite frankly I'd prefer to dive headfirst into a pit of broken
glass and shitty scorpions than allow that to happen.



Rachael
just a suggestion (maybe not a good one, but a suggestion all the same!) -
can't you get your solicitor to send her a letter stating that your address is
not your boyfriends, that he has his own seperate address - quoted in the
letter - and so on.

If the DWP do then receive an "anonymous" call alledging co-habitation you then
have some sort of legal letter to show them.

By the way, it's rare for you to receive notification of visits for potential
co-habitation cases - most visits of this nature are made "out of the blue" for
fairly obvious reasons. Occasionally though, some visits will be notified, but
in my experience they are rare.

Robbie


To reply by e-mail REMOVE the obvious!
 
R

Rachael of Nex, the Wiccan Rat

just a suggestion (maybe not a good one, but a suggestion all the same!) -
can't you get your solicitor to send her a letter stating that your address is
not your boyfriends, that he has his own seperate address - quoted in the
letter - and so on.
Yeah, t'was included in the sol's letter to her. The most constant part of
her harassment - as in, the thing she has been doing all along as opposed to
things she does out of the blue - is to keep sending letters where they
shouldn't be going so it is an important part of my complaint with her. So,
of course it was set out in the letter that my bf's address is not mine. She
knows that already anyway, as I said before.
If the DWP do then receive an "anonymous" call alledging co-habitation you then
have some sort of legal letter to show them.
Quite.


By the way, it's rare for you to receive notification of visits for potential
co-habitation cases - most visits of this nature are made "out of the blue" for
fairly obvious reasons. Occasionally though, some visits will be notified, but
in my experience they are rare.
Well, to be honest, being blind (registered blind but with some peripheral
left) I don't answer the door when I don't know who it is in advance anyway
so - they would have to let me know else I wouldn't answer. And that's not
being obstructive - that's a securty measure I've had in place since I had
eye issues. Even my closest friends know to let me know if they're going to
pop by else I just don't answer. So "they" coulda already tried to visit me
and I wouldn't know it.

Not that it would make much difference anyway - he doesn't live here so they
wouldn't find anything to make an issue of even if they came through the
door like the s.a.s. !

I had to laugh - the other day he got a christams card from his nan (who I
have spoken to on the phone before in numourous occasions, we get on very
well) - it went to his correct address of course, but it was "To Rachael and
Stuart" (his nan must still follow in the tradition of "ladies name first" I
imagine). He said to me, "Can I put this on your bookcase with your cards as
your name is on it too and it's primarily adddressed to you ? Is it allowed
?"

So I sez, "Oooh, don't know about that !", laughing, you know.

Then I said, "Go on then."
So he went over the the bookcase and stood the card on the top with my
cards. Then he grabbed me and bundled me onto the sofa, yelling, "It's a
raid !!! Put the greeting card down and move away from the bookcase !!"

I laughed till the tears ran down my face. At least we've been able to keep
our sense of humour about the whole thing.


Rachael
 
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