Resigning from Work?


S

saar10

Hello.

I've been separated from my wife about a year. She's living in the
house I am paying the full mortgage on. I haven't started divorce
proceedings as yet but will do soon.

I've been busy fighting access rights for my two children for the last
12 months. Having spent over £9k on solicitor fees and with only 2
hours every Saturday to show for it (spent in the company of my
ex-wife) I decided to represent myself. Good news is I got decent
access once a week and hopefully in the next court case the judge will
start approving overnight access.

CSA have been chasing me. I disagree with their calculations (there's a
surprise) as they have assumed my commission is guaranteed - which I
have proved isn't. My past wage slips also show it isn't.

CSA have not taken into account that I am paying the mortgage for the
wife's/kid's house. In effect if I was to pay the CSA and mortgage I
would be left with around £300 per month to pay for rent and
everything else - not possible to live on.

I haven't paid the CSA and have written to them 3 times for a variation
on payment with proof of my outgoings. They still say they haven't seen
any letters. I will write to them again using registered post.

I can't change the current repayment mortgage to a interest only (which
gives me some breathing space) without my wife's consent (her name is
on the mortgage) - she won't give consent.

I am now in debt.

I've been on/off of anti-depressants for around 5 months. I'm at the
stage where I've lost all motivation for work and most other things.
Seeing my children once a week is the highlight in my life.

I have considered giving up work due to my mental state. My GP will
back up my condition - as will the Sanibel councillor I've been to see.
I've met with my company's HR department several times over the last 6
months so they are aware of what I am going through. My manager and
others will testify to the negative change in my personality.

I never would have thought in my life I would get to a stage like this,
but things are so bleak.

My questions are:

1. What consequences could there possibly be from resigning?
2. Will I get legal aid to help with the divorce? This is going to be
one nasty divorce.
3. Will I get any social security benefits? My parent's will put me
up for a little while at their house.
4. What affect will this have with the CSA?
5. Will the Govt. take over interest only payments on the house? Will I
lose any rights over it when in the future it gets sold?

Is there anything else I should consider before taking this step? I do
hope to work at some point in the future, possibly after the divorce
but mainly when I've got my head together.

Thank you.


Saar.
 
P

Patrick

This and the following links may help you decide, what your next step could be and
may or may not help you decide.... I did note the main points of your post and my
sympathies are with you. May I offer you a little sound advice see your local
"C.A.B" Citizens Advice Bureau, and ask the experts, they should be able to help....

Read this first before considering any action you may take...
http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/benefits/unspun/incapacity_benefit_pilot_october_04.htm


Your right to SSP among other things...
http://www.totaljobs.com/editorial/getadvice_yourrights/sick_pay.shtm


Advice Guide...
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/


You'll need Adobe Reader to view this, it might help if you took a break first....
http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/asp/family_zone/factsheets/pdfs/fw_breaks.pdf


This might help you decide, your options...
http://www.eoc-law.org.uk/cseng/sexual_harassment/welfare_benefits_advice.asp#Absent_on_sick_leave


More of the same
http://www.eoc-law.org.uk/cseng/sexual_harassment/welfare_benefits_advice.asp#Main_entitlements



Patrick




Saar wanted to know what his options are for the following :

(e-mail address removed):1106316911.779510.79490@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...

Hello.

I've been separated from my wife about a year. She's living in the house I am paying
the full mortgage on. I haven't started divorce proceedings as yet but will do soon.

My questions are:

1. What consequences could there possibly be from resigning?

2. Will I get legal aid to help with the divorce? This is going to be one nasty
divorce.

3. Will I get any social security benefits? My parent's will put me up for a little
while at their house.

4. What affect will this have with the CSA?

5. Will the Govt. take over interest only payments on the house? Will I lose any
rights over it when in the future it gets sold?

Is there anything else I should consider before taking this step? I do hope to work
at some point in the future, possibly after the divorce but mainly when I've got my
head together.

Thank you.


Saar.
 
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Z

Zoe Brown

Please post this on uk.gov.agency.csa they will be able to help.


Hello.

I've been separated from my wife about a year. She's living in the
house I am paying the full mortgage on. I haven't started divorce
proceedings as yet but will do soon.

I've been busy fighting access rights for my two children for the last
12 months. Having spent over £9k on solicitor fees and with only 2
hours every Saturday to show for it (spent in the company of my
ex-wife) I decided to represent myself. Good news is I got decent
access once a week and hopefully in the next court case the judge will
start approving overnight access.

CSA have been chasing me. I disagree with their calculations (there's a
surprise) as they have assumed my commission is guaranteed - which I
have proved isn't. My past wage slips also show it isn't.

CSA have not taken into account that I am paying the mortgage for the
wife's/kid's house. In effect if I was to pay the CSA and mortgage I
would be left with around £300 per month to pay for rent and
everything else - not possible to live on.

I haven't paid the CSA and have written to them 3 times for a variation
on payment with proof of my outgoings. They still say they haven't seen
any letters. I will write to them again using registered post.

I can't change the current repayment mortgage to a interest only (which
gives me some breathing space) without my wife's consent (her name is
on the mortgage) - she won't give consent.

I am now in debt.

I've been on/off of anti-depressants for around 5 months. I'm at the
stage where I've lost all motivation for work and most other things.
Seeing my children once a week is the highlight in my life.

I have considered giving up work due to my mental state. My GP will
back up my condition - as will the Sanibel councillor I've been to see.
I've met with my company's HR department several times over the last 6
months so they are aware of what I am going through. My manager and
others will testify to the negative change in my personality.

I never would have thought in my life I would get to a stage like this,
but things are so bleak.

My questions are:

1. What consequences could there possibly be from resigning?
2. Will I get legal aid to help with the divorce? This is going to be
one nasty divorce.
3. Will I get any social security benefits? My parent's will put me
up for a little while at their house.
4. What affect will this have with the CSA?
5. Will the Govt. take over interest only payments on the house? Will I
lose any rights over it when in the future it gets sold?

Is there anything else I should consider before taking this step? I do
hope to work at some point in the future, possibly after the divorce
but mainly when I've got my head together.

Thank you.


Saar.
 
C

citizen142

You are not going to like my reply. Don't answer anything the CSA sends you.
Resign your job. Make no attempt to see your children. The 'law' is so
loaded against you as a male that you can never win. She can live in a home
that you pay for with a new 'partner' at your expense until the children
have finished further education and that could be 21 or 22+. Solicitors will
'befriend' you and ruin you at the same time. Maybe join Fathers for Justice
and fight.

I as a male got custody of my son and kept the home that I already owned at
marriage - but there are not many like me. Am I bitter? - you bet your
bloody life I'm bitter - potentially lose your home, your son, everything
you worked your bollocks off for and she betrayed me! It cost me a fortune
to get rid of her - and money is what she wanted. She paid (he is 17 now) £5
a week 'support' has a good job and lives with a highly paid man. Double
standards?

Sorry about the rant - but the truth is men get a bad deal out of marriage.
Just my opinion.
 
N

Neaco

Sorry about the rant - but the truth is men get a bad deal out of
marriage.
Just my opinion.
Free sex?..........probably in the long run....no!
 
C

citizen142

Sorry about the previous rant group - was a bit pissed, the hurt is still
there after 9 years.

My questions are:

1. What consequences could there possibly be from resigning?

Answer: Stay on the sick for as long as you can!

2. Will I get legal aid to help with the divorce? This is going to be one
nasty
divorce.

Answer: That depends on how much you are earning. The mistake that people
make is that they think that legal aid is free - it is not! It really should
be called Legal Loan you will have to pay it back all be it weekly. Also if
she gets legal aid and she probably will her solicitor will cane it for all
its worth and you could also end up paying her costs!

3. Will I get any social security benefits? My parent's will put me up for
a little
while at their house.

Answer: Stay on the sick for as long as you can.

4. What affect will this have with the CSA?

Answer: They can only take a nominal amount a week if you are on the sick.

5. Will the Govt. take over interest only payments on the house? Will I
lose any
rights over it when in the future it gets sold?

If she claims benefits in her own right probably as its cheaper than
rehousing her. If the house is sold when say the eldest child is 18 the
Legal Aid Board (assuming you did not pay upfront) will be the first in line
and then its costs Plus interest of say 14 years. Whats left - not too sure
there.

The above is based on my experience. I am not a lawyer or anything.

I suggest you look here for some professional advice concerning men and
their 'rights' on divorce.

http://www.terry.co.uk/men_div.html
 
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M

Martin Davies

Hello.

I've been separated from my wife about a year. She's living in the
house I am paying the full mortgage on. I haven't started divorce
proceedings as yet but will do soon.

I've been busy fighting access rights for my two children for the last
12 months. Having spent over £9k on solicitor fees and with only 2
hours every Saturday to show for it (spent in the company of my
ex-wife) I decided to represent myself. Good news is I got decent
access once a week and hopefully in the next court case the judge will
start approving overnight access.

CSA have been chasing me. I disagree with their calculations (there's a
surprise) as they have assumed my commission is guaranteed - which I
have proved isn't. My past wage slips also show it isn't.

CSA have not taken into account that I am paying the mortgage for the
wife's/kid's house. In effect if I was to pay the CSA and mortgage I
would be left with around £300 per month to pay for rent and
everything else - not possible to live on.

I haven't paid the CSA and have written to them 3 times for a variation
on payment with proof of my outgoings. They still say they haven't seen
any letters. I will write to them again using registered post.

I can't change the current repayment mortgage to a interest only (which
gives me some breathing space) without my wife's consent (her name is
on the mortgage) - she won't give consent.

I am now in debt.

I've been on/off of anti-depressants for around 5 months. I'm at the
stage where I've lost all motivation for work and most other things.
Seeing my children once a week is the highlight in my life.

I have considered giving up work due to my mental state. My GP will
back up my condition - as will the Sanibel councillor I've been to see.
I've met with my company's HR department several times over the last 6
months so they are aware of what I am going through. My manager and
others will testify to the negative change in my personality.

I never would have thought in my life I would get to a stage like this,
but things are so bleak.

My questions are:

1. What consequences could there possibly be from resigning?
2. Will I get legal aid to help with the divorce? This is going to be
one nasty divorce.
3. Will I get any social security benefits? My parent's will put me
up for a little while at their house.
4. What affect will this have with the CSA?
5. Will the Govt. take over interest only payments on the house? Will I
lose any rights over it when in the future it gets sold?

Is there anything else I should consider before taking this step? I do
hope to work at some point in the future, possibly after the divorce
but mainly when I've got my head together.

Thank you.


Saar.


CSA won't assume your commission is guaranteed. They will just use what you
have been paid in the past to work out what you should pay, and leave it up
to you to inform them if your commission reduces or stops in the future
Hell, even being paid a salary each month isn't guaranteed, but many things
including mortgage application and tax payments take account of it based on
what you have been paid in the past.

You might want to post on uk.gov.agency.csa about the CSA, and check out
www.childsupportanalysis.co.uk , www.nacsa.co.uk and www.cancsa.org

As for resigning:
Others will be able to say for certain, but from what I gather the benefits
office won't be happy with resigning as a reason for not working. You might
be better not telling them you hope to work when you've got your head
together.
If you do get any benefits, it won't be much. And CSA will take £5 of it.
Any arrears the CSA have calculated will still be payable, with the old
assessment applying up to the time you tell them you have left the company.
Be warned though, non-payment or late payment and they will send a deduction
from earnings to your employer to take the regular maintenance, plus
something towards the arrears, out of your pay packet before you get it.

Is your wife on benefits? As far as I know, thats the only way that the
mortgage would be paid by the DWP. And even then, nothing for so many weeks,
then half the interest for so many weeks, before full (or thereabouts)
interest paid.

Think very hard before resigning. If you go onto jobseekers allowance, you
could find yourself in a situation where the jobcentre find you a job on
less pay than you have now.
If you are unable to work, incapacity benefit would be the way to go. Though
£66.15 a week isn't much to live on either.

Martin <><
 
M

Martin Davies

citizen142 said:
You are not going to like my reply. Don't answer anything the CSA sends you.
Resign your job. Make no attempt to see your children. The 'law' is so
loaded against you as a male that you can never win. She can live in a home
that you pay for with a new 'partner' at your expense until the children
have finished further education and that could be 21 or 22+. Solicitors will
'befriend' you and ruin you at the same time. Maybe join Fathers for Justice
and fight.

I as a male got custody of my son and kept the home that I already owned at
marriage - but there are not many like me. Am I bitter? - you bet your
bloody life I'm bitter - potentially lose your home, your son, everything
you worked your bollocks off for and she betrayed me! It cost me a fortune
to get rid of her - and money is what she wanted. She paid (he is 17 now) £5
a week 'support' has a good job and lives with a highly paid man. Double
standards?

Sorry about the rant - but the truth is men get a bad deal out of marriage.
Just my opinion.
Ok, so she lives with a highly paid man.
Nothing to do with how much she pays.

As for the rest, you are one of the minority who got custody. You should be
proud of that.

Martin <><
 
M

Martin Davies

Neaco said:
Free sex?..........probably in the long run....no!
Well, I suppose you could put a £5 note on the dressing table and ask her to
prove she is so worth £5.

Seriously, I've found marriage to be great. Working hard now to get to where
we celebrate our 100th anniversary with a cruise around the world.

Martin <><
 
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P

Pat Winstanley

mart2306 said:
Ok, so she lives with a highly paid man.
Nothing to do with how much she pays.

And ditto in reverse... a man who begins living with a highly paid woman
doesn't automatically have to pay more or less or recieve more or less
for the children of the original partnership. The new partner (whether
the new partner of the ex female partner or the new partner of the ex
male partner is NOT liable to help support the child(ren) of the prior
relationship their new partner had in the past.

If either of the ex partners has further children with their new partner
then there may be an adjustment. But simply living with (even marrying)
a new partner, whatever that new partner's income, is not really
relevant since the new partner has no legal/financial responsibility
toward the child(ren) of their new partner's prior relationship(s).
 

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