Cheer up time. Accounting jokes?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Lounge' started by richardsha, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. richardsha

    ACC

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    Why did the actuary become an actuary? He wasn't exciting enough to become an accountant.
     
    ACC, Feb 27, 2014
    #21
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  2. richardsha

    morki

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    If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she do?
    Leans over to her husband and says "Tell me about work today, honey."
     
    morki, Nov 12, 2014
    #22
    Nora likes this.
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  3. richardsha

    morki

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    one more :)

    What's the difference between death and taxes?
    Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.

    And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
    Jail.
     
    morki, Nov 12, 2014
    #23
  4. richardsha

    morki

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    hahaha seriously?

    A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:"He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
     
    morki, Nov 12, 2014
    #24
  5. richardsha

    morki

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    And finally:
    A lady goes to see her doctor with some very worrisome symptoms. After examining her, he says, "I'm terribly sorry to tell you this, but you only havesix months to live." The lady is very distraught, "Oh doctor, what should I do", she asks. The doctor says, "I advise you to marry a CPA.""Will that make me live longer?", she asks, hopefully. "No, " says the doctor. "But it will seem longer."
     
    morki, Nov 12, 2014
    #25
  6. richardsha

    morki

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    Why do accountants make good lovers? They're great with figures.
     
    morki, Nov 12, 2014
    #26
  7. richardsha

    morki

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    Why don't old accountants never die? They just lose their balance!
     
    morki, Nov 12, 2014
    #27
  8. richardsha

    NewbieAccountant

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    This is hilarious, guys. xDDD We should collect them and make an e-book out of this material. xD
     
    NewbieAccountant, Jan 19, 2016
    #28
  9. richardsha

    Renuka Rana

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    What does an accountant say when boarding a train?

    ‘Mind the GAAP’. :D:):D
     
    Renuka Rana, Mar 16, 2016
    #29
  10. richardsha

    pndaccountants

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    The Golden Rule For Every Business Man Is This:"Put Yourself In Your Customer's Place."
     
    pndaccountants, Jan 25, 2017
    #30
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